5 Influential Diplomacy Tips5 min read

1. Be Mostly Honest

A common misguided attitude is that Diplomacy is a game of lying and betrayal. Although that is definitely a part of Diplomacy, that is not the game of Diplomacy. Diplomacy is also a game of negotiation, cooperation, and even friendship. If you are mostly—or even entirely—honest with your rivals, your ability to influence them will be much greater.

In my experience, most Diplomacy players will tolerate a certain degree of manipulation from their rivals…but have limited patience for blatant lies.

Although I do tell lies in my Diplomacy matches, I avoid blatant lies unless I am setting up for a devastating backstab or I am in dire straits and out of options. Why? Because once I’ve lied to a player multiple times, my ability to influence them will be pretty much used up. As they say: once bitten, twice shy!

2. Consider Your Rival’s Perspective

I observe a lot of amateurish players take the patronizing attitude of telling other players what those players are supposed to think! That is not very effective in Diplomacy…a game that attracts an unusually intelligent (and rather arrogant) player base.

Ask yourself: what does this player value? What are their interests? If you ask, they will probably tell you! And when they tell you, for the love of Pete, listen!

Once you understand what your rival wants…you will know what words they need to hear (truthful…or otherwise…) to behave according to your influence.

3. Mirror Your Rival’s Style

As I discussed in my Press Journal for the Online Diplomacy Championship, “mirroring” is an effective technique for drawing someone in as a friend. Most people like themselves and believe themselves to be sensible. If you copy the way they behave and speak, they will probably find you to be charming.

Ask yourself:

• Are they very technical (referring to pieces and movements) or are they more whimsical (making historical references and such)?
• Are they all business (trying to make deals immediately) or are they flirtatious (talking for a while before getting to specifics?)
• Do they want to talk about daily life? Some players pass time in matches talking about everyday things.

Pay attention to cues like these, and try to copy your rivals! They may not consciously appreciate what you are doing—and even if they do, they will probably still prefer you to a player who makes no efforts to charm them!

4. Focus on Mutual Interests

Unless your rivals were born yesterday and did not read the game box, they understand that you are trying to manipulate them. However, they won’t mind—and will give serious consideration to what you’re asking of them—if you make it clear how your request benefits you both.

By making it clear what you hope to gain, your rival does not have to suspect an ulterior motive. And by showing how your rival gains, your rival may want to honor your request out of self interest!

5. Work Hard on Your Messages

I have spent more than an hour crafting critical messages. Have you ever put that kind of effort into your matches?

Write a draft of the message you want to send, and then read it out loud to yourself. Does your writing make sense or is it confusing? Does it sound polite or rude? Is it friendly or intimidating? Is it efficient or redundant?

On a second pass, make edits to your message. Improve the prose. Shorten sentences. Re-organize paragraphs to be in the order that makes the most sense (e.g., start off friendly, then cover points of tension, then return to the friendly stuff).

And most of all, don’t burn your bridges with hasty, angry, and/or poorly-thought-out messages.

I’ve drafted and then deleted without sending all kinds of hostile or critical messages. Although there is a time and place where caustic messages can help you accomplish your goals (for example, in scaring others into thinking that you really will throw the match), any message that is written from a place of genuine contempt will not go over well with its recipient.